Please, Noem More

The SD governor brags about killing animals.

Please, Noem More

The bar of the Republican Party, already at an all-time low, just descended to the earth’s core.

South Dakota governor Kristi Noem, desperately wanting to be chosen as the former president’s running mate, has admitted to killing a puppy and goat.

The Guardian got an advanced copy of her upcoming book, No Going Back: The Truth on What’s Wrong with Politics and How We Move America Forward. Noem talks in the book about the shootings, saying that they prove she’s willing to do the “difficult, messy, and ugly” things. 

Most don’t casually murder animals, but what better way to ingratiate herself with the Republican nominee than to boast about activities that will put her on PETA’s Most Wanted List?

“Cricket,” the offensive puppy, was supposedly “aggressive” and “untrainable,” and when she attempted to train the dog to pheasant hunt, the puppy disrupted the hunt, killed a neighbor’s chickens, and tried to bite her (the dog knew more that the state’s voters).

She claims that she took “Cricket” to a gravel pit, then shot the dog.

Committing one instance of animal homicide was not enough for Noem to demonstrate her steely resolve.

She also explains how she shot a male goat in the same gravel pit. This time, the animal’s offense was that it was “nasty and mean,” smelled “disgusting, musky, rancid,” and “loved to chase” her children.

Even if this was some dark-humored fiction, one would struggle to detect the logic or reason for telling such stories.

But here is a governor extolling her ability to dispatch animals to the hereafter.

And telling these stories in order to impress in a memoir, and not in a more appropriate venue, like her psychiatrist’s office.

She’s doing this because she wants to be his running mate, thinking that this will impress him and his supporters.

She’s probably right.

Being a woman makes her immediately “inferior,” so she had to do something dramatic to prove her “qualifications.”

This is the sad state of American politics.

One of the two major political parties has a felonious, riot-rousing, fascist laughingstock of a presidential candidate, and someone is so desperate to be his running mate, she authors a book bragging about animal murder.

America can no longer afford to make fun of other countries’ politics.

We’re can’t laugh at the joke or pretend we’re in on it.

We are the joke.