Men and Mariticide
A week ago, a former lieutenant governor of Virginia shot and killed his estranged wife, then killed himself. Their teenaged children were at home where and when the murders occurred.
The act of mariticide, killing a spouse, seems to be more common today than ever.
And it’s usually the husband killing their wives, ex-wives or current or former significant others.
On Sunday, a Louisiana man shot the two mothers of his children, and then went on to kill eight children, seven of his children and one of the children’s cousins.
He was estranged from his current wife, and decided he should not only kill her, but a former wife or girlfriend, and their children.
What is causing this violence?
There are many factors, but one of the main causes is rampant misogyny.
Societal influences such as the tradwife movement, Christian Nationalism, and incel culture all forward the belief that women need to abandon their independence and become more reliant on men.
Women are realizing greater freedom and independence, but many men are living in the state of denial.
These men still view women with lenses crafted from outdated stereotypes. When women resist these stereotypes, when they seek to end marriages or relationships, these men become territorial and hostile.
These men think of women as property rather than human beings.
These men feel threatened by loss of control and dominance.
Add alimony payments, loss of child custody, and embarrassment at being left as opposed to leaving, and you have concocted a recipe for aggression and violence.
For certain men, the shift of power dynamics from favoring men to being slightly closer to equality is noxious.
These men believe they possess more power in the relationship than women, and men react badly when women prove this to be false.
In the case of the former lieutenant governor, it has been interesting to see how some men showed empathy and sympathy for him.
These men characterize the lieutenant governor as a “good man who snapped.” They believe he committed the murder of his wife because he was dealing with emotional and mental stresses that were beyond his control.
What these confused sympathizers don’t seem to realize is that there are lots of outlets for these feelings.
If you’re feeling angry and upset, get counseling.
Vent to family and friends.
Write your feelings down.
Do anything and everything except lash out with violence or kill people.
Children who once has two living parents are orphaned.
They will need therapy, perhaps for the rest of their lives.
All because of the senseless, selfish actions of their father.
Men must find constructive ways to handle their feelings short of murder and violence.
Men need to accept that relationships can end and move on.
No one wants their heart broken.
No one wants to pay alimony and have limited access to their children.
But no one should commit murder.
Especially against someone you loved or once loved.